Funny..i noticed that when ever i have a GOOD day i dont blog. haha And that i only blog when im "sad" or in a "thoughtful" mood. But yah YESTERDAY was TITE. I was happy the whole day 4 some reason...and i found myself just acting like the loser i once was..::sigh:: the good ol days. 2day was alrite. My back freakin hurt 4 some reason. And i just wasnt feeling "happy". Geeze its mood swing after mood swing. On the good side of 2day...i got a 98% on my webpage and i got a 22 out of 20 on my math quiz. HELLZ YAH! Well Christmas is coming up. Once i start seeing all those lights in my neighborhood...and everyone dressed up like santa clause, THATS when i'll be happy! haha i love christmas..it just..RULES. hmm but at the sametime...im starting to want to get out of "here" too like everyone else. I really just wanna GET AWAY from "bremerton" and the "people" 4 awhile. Dont get me wrong everyone...i still love ya and all... but dang... a VACATION away from EVERYONE sure as hell would be nice. Its not that i dislike hearing everyones drama.. its the fact that when ever i see certain people my head starts spinning. I dunno...and then comes the "changing" thing all over. People are changing and things just cant be the same again. But i realized something... the reason i was happy in fairview was becuz there was nothing/NOBODY to stress OVER. Meaning... that nobody was on my mind, and i didnt really have any problems. nothing swirled around in my head and yada yada. So me being THAT person a few years ago just wont/cant happen. Ive already changed too much as well as the people around me. I guess there really cant be the "old philip" anymore. Its just me...being me. I noticed soemthing... i stopped writing in my "journal/diary" a LOOONG ass time ago. I just read it...and damn.. i cant beleive the way i was feeling at those times. That damn thing sure has me when i was feeling my LOWEST. ARGH...thats one memory i think i'll trash..so imma prolly juss give it to someone. The whole damn thing is nothing but anger, sadness, with depressed and MORE sad crap. 4 get it...past is past. Gotta work with wat i got now...but i still think i have a lousy hand.
posted by Philip at 9:04 PM